Tip of the Month - July

01/07/2010 by Marketing Team.

“Think twice before saying it!”

How many times do you regret saying something?
How is it that we sometimes feel personally attacked when someone is telling us something?
Do you think about the words you use before saying them?

You are probably like everyone, you put your two feet in and you find yourself in awkward situations where you get unpredictable and unwanted reactions. Most of the time, this happens for two main reasons:

1 - the person is not in the right state to listen to what you have to say

2 - and more likely, you haven’t chosen the right words to express yourself.

What are the differences between the following sentences involving a child climbing a tree?

It’s too hard, you are too small, you’re going to fall! You won’t make it!

Hold on and be aware of where you are putting your feet.

With the first sentence, the child only hears the words “too hard”, “too small”, “fall” and “won’t make it”, while with the second one, the child is noticing the words “hold on” and “putting your feet”.

From a very you age, children are subject to a wide range of words every day and some words are used many times in the same day. If you repeatedly use negative words when talking to a child, then they will start to believe it’s true and won’t question their validity, their confidence and self-esteem will be affected for years to come, or maybe for their whole life.

You can easily change this by simply adopting the 3 following rules:

1. Use as many positive words as you can and reward good behaviours (that’s very good, I am so pleased that you…, I didn’t know you could do something like this…)

2. Always talk about someone’s actions instead of talking about the person (”When you do this, I feel annoyed” instead of “You annoy me”)

3. Say what you want to say instead of saying what you don’t want (”Walk and take your time” instead of “Don’t run!”)

As soon as you start thinking about these three important rules, you’ll quickly notice how people react differently and positively to what you are saying. In the next weeks and months, you are going to use these three rules without thinking about them and they are simply going to become an entire part of the way you communicate with others.

Enjoy!

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