30/10/2011 by Christophe.

If I asked you to list 10 positive things that happened to you so far today, would you be able to do it?

They don’t have to be big things, just 10 positive things that have happened since you woke up this morning.

It’s easy to get to the end of the day and think it’s been a bad one - that nothing’s gone right for you, and that everything is going against you.

But, if you spend just a couple of minutes thinking about it, you can easily think of at least 10 positive things that have happened - like the sunshine through the window, an unexpected smile, a warm welcome, seeing the first autumn colours, a nice word from a friend or just a cuddle with a loved one - there’s always something to add to the list.

So when you’re on your way home from work this evening, or laying in bed tonight, take a couple of minutes to think back over your day and make a list of 10 positive things.

Suddenly, your day has been successful and a nice experience.

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21/10/2011 by Christophe.

Details of the NLP Master Practitioner course now available on www.onestep-further.com/onestepfurther-nlpmasterpractitioner.html

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05/10/2011 by Christophe.

‘I know what they need’

Do we often assume that we know what people are thinking?
Do we often imagine that someone should know what we like or not?
How often do we get it wrong and create an unwanted situation?

If we start listening to what we and people around you say, you will easily notice some of the following examples:

‘I know what she wants…’
‘I understand where he is coming from…’
‘They must know what I need…’
‘He won’t be happy with this…’
‘She won’t like it…’

For example, we notice that a good friend is not himself, he is not as cheerful as normal so we start wondering why this could be. We soon remember that he had an important meeting the day before and assume that something must have gone wrong. We feel sorry for him and start showing him some sympathy and say: ‘Don’t worry, things will get better..’. Surprised, he replies: ’What are you talking about?’.

We can believe we know what someone is thinking or feeling based on what we know about people and their life. And if we think we actually know them because they have been part of our life for a while, we can assume we have the knowledge necessary to know what they will think, feel, like or dislike. Sometimes we are right and sometimes we are so wrong.

So what can we do?

It is simple, just ask ourselves:

•    How do you I know this?

If we realise that we are not sure and we just believe it because this is how we would react in such a situation or because we have experienced a few similar situations. Then we can stop asking ourselves and start asking them.

As you begin to think about this, you will start noticing more and more times where you assume that you know what people are thinking and feeling or that they know what you are thinking and feeling. And over the next weeks and months, you will begin to ask yourself how I know this and you will also begin to check with the people concerned what it is really happening so you can behave in the most appropriate way to a situation.

Enjoy!

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05/10/2011 by Christophe.

‘Building your self-confidence’

Are we often limiting ourselves because we are lacking of confidence?
How often do we wish we had more confidence?
How resourceful do we feel when we are full of confidence?

It’s easy to remember situations where we have completed or achieved something special and felt powerful, satisfied and proud or situations where we didn’t even started on the task and felt sad, useless and annoyed with ourselves.

For example, we want to start a new hobby and meet up new people, and we know what we want to do and where and when it takes place but we cannot take the first step, we don’t feel confident enough to launch ourselves so we find excuses not to do it ‘I don’t have the time to do it anyway, I know it is going to be to difficult for me as well..’. We feel awful about ourselves.

So what can we do to build our confidence?

There are many things we can do to build our self-confidence and the following three are simple, easy to use and easy to remember:

1-    Recall the great memories – We start by thinking of a few out of the many situations where we felt good about ourselves, where we achieved something special, where we were appreciated by our family, friends or colleagues. All these memories are feeding our confidence

2-    Start with a resourceful mindset – If we are thinking that we can’t do something, we are not good at something, or simply If this is not for us then we are setting ourselves to fail but if we are thinking instead that we are going to have fun, I can always give it go, I am going to do the best I can, we are starting to believe in ourselves more and our confidence is growing..

3-    Learn from mistakes – It happens that sometimes we are not as successful as we would like and this is the case for all of us and the best way to deal with such situations is to move on by thinking of how we could this differently next time. We quickly move away from the problem and focus on a number of solutions.

As you begin to recall your great memories, to have a resourceful mindset and to learn from your mistake, you start realising how resourceful and flexible you can be. And over the next weeks and months, you will notice how different you are and how you are now capable to do more than before and how much, with time, you are stretching yourself with bigger and bigger challenges. While you are moving in the right direction, your self-confidence is growing.

Enjoy!

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