Tip of the Month - June 2011

‘I know what they need’

Do we often assume that we know what people are thinking?
Do we often imagine that someone should know what we like or not?
How often do we get it wrong and create an unwanted situation?

If we start listening to what we and people around you say, you will easily notice some of the following examples:

‘I know what she wants…’
‘I understand where he is coming from…’
‘They must know what I need…’
‘He won’t be happy with this…’
‘She won’t like it…’

For example, we notice that a good friend is not himself, he is not as cheerful as normal so we start wondering why this could be. We soon remember that he had an important meeting the day before and assume that something must have gone wrong. We feel sorry for him and start showing him some sympathy and say: ‘Don’t worry, things will get better..’. Surprised, he replies: ’What are you talking about?’.

We can believe we know what someone is thinking or feeling based on what we know about people and their life. And if we think we actually know them because they have been part of our life for a while, we can assume we have the knowledge necessary to know what they will think, feel, like or dislike. Sometimes we are right and sometimes we are so wrong.

So what can we do?

It is simple, just ask ourselves:

•    How do you I know this?

If we realise that we are not sure and we just believe it because this is how we would react in such a situation or because we have experienced a few similar situations. Then we can stop asking ourselves and start asking them.

As you begin to think about this, you will start noticing more and more times where you assume that you know what people are thinking and feeling or that they know what you are thinking and feeling. And over the next weeks and months, you will begin to ask yourself how I know this and you will also begin to check with the people concerned what it is really happening so you can behave in the most appropriate way to a situation.

Enjoy!

This entry was posted on 05/10/2011 at 12:12 pm and is filed under Tip of the Month. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response or trackback from your own site.