08/02/2012 by Christophe.

’21 days to change a habit’

How often have you tried to stop doing something you don’t want to do anymore?
Or have you tried to start doing something differently or new?
How many times did you start or change the way you did something and end up back where you started?

We all have great intentions and with the New Year coming we’ve already started to think about our resolutions. Generally, it’s all about doing something new or different. It’s interesting to understand why we want to do something or if we think we want to do something. There is an enormous difference between wanting something and thinking we want something. We can wonder how much we’ve been influenced by our surroundings, our family, our friends, our society… so when we choose our resolutions, we have to make sure they are ours.

For example, we think it’s time that we looked after ourselves so we want to spend more time exercising or we want to learn how to eat healthily. We decide to spend more quality time with our family, our friends, or just the people we care about. Or we simply want to enjoy life a little more… whatever the form it takes, it can be at the physical, mental, social, familial or even spiritual level.

So where do we start?

First we decide what we want and NOT what we DON’T want.  

I want to have a stronger back

Then we ask ourselves why is it so important.

Who is saying it is (us or someone else)? What will happen if we do and if we don’t? What will we lose by changing?

It is important because it affects the way I feel, the way I am with the ones I care about. If I don’t do anything, I can imagine that I will get worse and short tempered and if I do, I can imagine that I will be able to do much more when and with whom I want to. The only thing that will change is that I will need to be much more aware of the time to fit it in.

We make ourselves aware of the excuses we might give ourselves not to do what we want so we can diffuse them when they appear.

I often say that I am tired or that this is not the right time or even I will do it tomorrow and I end up doing nothing.
When and where we can spare the time for this new habit.

Choose a regular and specific time (the same day at the same time OR BETTER every day at the same time) to put it in place.  Treat it as you would any other appointment – put it in your diary and just do it!

I can put 15 minutes aside every morning (at least week days) as part of my morning routine, just after breakfast and just before my shower. This normally takes place at 7.45am.

Tell people what you’re doing, and why you’re doing it – let them help to motivate you!

I will tell my partner, my children and my close friends.

And finally, book the first day.

Tomorrow is as good as any other day.

As you begin thinking about these 6 steps, you are probably having a few ideas about what to start doing or to stop doing and how much they can bring so many good things in your everyday life. And after 21 days, you will have developed a new habit and you will be certainly surprised by the impact on the people around you. So you can wait until January to put in place your first resolution or you can just start today.

Enjoy!

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27/04/2011 by Marketing Team.

How often do we decide that we can’t do something just because we’ve never tried it before? Or worse still, how often do we decide that someone can’t or shouldn’t do something just because we don’t try?

People probably thought that Kelly Gneiting couldn’t run 26 miles, but the 29-stone 40 year old recently became the heaviest man to run a marathon. It took him 10 hours, but after completing the Los Angeles event, he’s now set himself the challenge of swimming the Channel.

So, why can’t we cook? Why can’t we exercise? Why can’t we do all of the things we say we can’t do?

Is it that we really can’t do those things, or is it that we think we can’t do them as well as other people? There’s a big difference between cooking a 5 course gourmet meal and cooking a healthy dinner for your family, and that’s the important thing to remember.

The goals we set ourselves need to be achievable and realistic. Setting out to cook a meal that would rival a Michelin starred chef is probably a step too far if you’ve never boiled an egg before, but deciding to follow a simple recipe to feed four is something that most of us can achieve. And, the more we do it, the better we’ll get.

So what could you do easily today or tomorrow that would challenge this “can’t do” attitude? How much do you think this is going to build your confidence and to open new opportunities?

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01/03/2011 by Christophe.

Discover the new tip of the month..

www.onestep-further.com/PNL-France-OneStepFurther-Tipofthemonth.html

Enjoy!

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28/02/2011 by Christophe.

‘I wanted to say ‘NO’ but I couldn’t do it!’

How often do we find ourselves trapped into doing something for someone else?
How often do we say ‘YES’ and regret it later?
How difficult is it for us to say ‘NO’?

We can easily think of situation after situation where we’ve found ourselves saying ‘YES’ to someone when we may not have the time, the experience, or the resources to help them. We are probably worried that if we refuse it might upset them, or we might loose an opportunity, or we think it’s easier to say ‘YES’, or maybe we believe that saying ‘NO’ is rude.

The important factor of saying ‘YES’ or ‘NO’ is the effect is has on us.

For example, you have your day planned and you are excited by the prospect of having a very efficient and rewarding day. Suddenly, you get an unexpected phone call from a friend, a colleague or a person from your family asking you to do something for them. You find yourself cornered and can’t find the strength to say that you can’t help them at that moment. You say ‘YES’. Your state has changed… you are not excited anymore, you are annoyed or angry. And you might wonder what the full impact is on you and the people around you and how long it is going to last.

So what can we do?

We can simply adopt this 3 step model (AES). It gives us the option to say ‘NO’ in a useful and efficient manner and then it allows us to feel good about the situation because we have been resourceful and helpful.

Step 1 – A – Acknowledge and manage expectations

You acknowledge the situation and quickly warn them that you might NOT be able to help – I understand that you need to do this quite quickly. I am very busy myself and may not be able to help. Acknowlegde that you know they want some help.

Step 2 – E – Exit

You may need to exit the situation for a short while to have some time to think about whether it is worth you spending the time helping or not. If you don’t have time, make sure you get back to that person when you say you will – I need to think about this … Can I call you back at 11am, on that number?

You may not need to exit and go directly to Step 3.

Step 3 – S – Solutions

You should always offer two or three alternative options to the situation so you can feel comfortable and helpful, even when saying no to the original request– As I said earlier, it is going to be difficult to help you now thought I can make some time tomorrow or if it helps you can try to call this number… or contact that person…

As you begin to use the AES model, you will be pleasantly surprised how easy and simple it is to say ‘NO’ and how comfortable you are with it because you always offer alternative solutions. Over the next weeks and months, you will get better and better in managing people and difficult situations and more and more resourceful and in control of your life.
Enjoy!

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02/02/2011 by Christophe.

‘A new year brings so many new resolutions’

How often do you make a resolution that doesn’t last or doesn’t get completed?
How much do unfulfilled resolutions affect us year after year?
What would it be like to have a clearer vision for the year to come?

It is the time of year where most of us make new resolutions to change bad habits, to improve our every day life, to move our career up or simply to be more healthy.

So just look at the Blob Tree and answer the questions:

 1. Which blob figure represented you best in 2010 and why?
2. Which blob figure would you like to be in 2011 and why?
3. What is the first resolution you need to make for this to happen?

If you can’t answer the following questions with a yes each time, it may just mean that you need to revisit your new resolution.

1. Is this resolution Positive (I want instead of I don’t want)?
2. Do you know what the Evidence of this success will be (What will you hear or see)?
3. Do you know in which Context you want this resolution to apply (When and where)?
4. Is it Self-achievable (Only depends on you?)
5. Are you aware of the Advantages & Inconveniences (Are you happy with what you will lose)?
6. Is it still Worthwhile?

Now it is just the simple process to put your first action in place for the first week, and plan the next few weeks and few months so you can easily change this new resolution into a life changing experience and a great sense of achievement.

Enjoy 2011!

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01/10/2010 by Marketing Team.

‘When the mindset dictates the outcome’

How often do we doubt ourselves?
How much do we limit ourselves?
How much does our internal dialogue affect our everyday challenges?

Let’s imagine for a moment that what we think, can, to a certain degree, affect our confidence, our abilities, the people around us and the outcome of a situation. The more positive our internal conversation (talking to ourselves) the closer we get to the result we want. The more our internal dialogue is negative the further away we get from the results we want.For example, I have experienced many times the ‘plank exercise’ and I am always amazed how simply it demonstrates how the little voice inside us affects our confidence, abilities and behaviours. The plank exercise involves walking across a plank of wood about 20cm wide and 2m long. The first time you walk it, the plank is resting on the floor and the second time, it is at a height of 1m. Mostly everyone can easily walk across the plank on the floor but a large number of people don’t manage to walk the full length of the plank when it stands at 1m high.

The main difference is all to do with what we think just before crossing the plank:

The first time, ‘That’s easy …’
And the second time, ‘Oh, that’s difficult and what happens if I fall…’

It is important to be aware of what we think just before starting what we do. Are we setting ourselves up to fail or to succeed?

So what can we do?

We can simply be more aware of the message of our internal dialogue just before doing something and follow these 2 easy to remember steps:

1-    Be aware of the message just before the event – is it positive or negative? Is this what I want?

2-    Be flexible (if it isn’t what I want) – what is that I do well that could help me? What resources can I pull on (for example, the last time I achieved something challenging or unexpected, how did I do it)?

As you begin to practice being more aware of your internal messages, and being more flexible as well as searching for what you need to change your internal dialogue, you’ll notice over the next weeks and months the difference it makes to your everyday life, to the way you approach a situation and how much more resourceful you are when faced with difficulties.
Enjoy

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07/09/2010 by Marketing Team.

‘A life full of stretch is a fulfilling life’

How often do you stretch yourself?
Do you find that you tend to stay in your comfort zone?
Do you remember the last time you felt a great sense of achievement?
Well, now you can, with a simple model that can be used everyday, called ‘The Comfort, Stretch, Panic Model’

Karl Rohnke, an American expert in experiential learning, has developed a simple to use model called ‘The Comfort, Stretch, Panic Model’ for a wide range of applications and this model is especially useful for:

-personal development
-and building your confidence and self-esteem.

The Stretch Model is composed of 3 zones. Each model is unique and can be totally different from one person to the other.

The Comfort zone:
The comfort zone represents all situations where you feel comfortable, at ease, and when you have full (or near enough) control of the situation (at home, in your car, in your local pub, with your close friends…)

The Stretch zone:
The stretch zone involves new and different situations where you feel some pressure to do something you are not used to (starting a new hobby, a new job, meeting new people, driving for the first time on the motorway…)

The Panic zone:
The panic zone is normally when you loose total control and you also loose your ability to communicate and to do (climbing a high ladder when you are afraid of height, public speaking, …)

There are only 3 simple rules to fully enjoy our everyday life and to make your future fulfilling and exciting:

1-Never step into your panic zone (or push someone in their panic zone). This directly affects your self-esteem and self-confidence.

2-Always stretch yourself with suitable and appropriate new challenges. This gives you a sense of achievements and boosts your self-esteem and self-confidence.

3-Always find the right balance between stretching yourself and looking after yourself in your comfort zone.

As soon as you start adopting these 2 ‘always’ and the ‘never’ about these three important rules, you’ll quickly notice how much more you do, how often you get a great sense of achievement and how easy it is now for you to challenge yourself.

In the next weeks and months, you are going to build a greater self confidence and a long lasting self-esteem.

Enjoy!

For more Tips of the Month, visit the website

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01/06/2010 by Marketing Team.

“Do you know what is the most important for you”

How often do wonder if you made the right decision?
How long does it take sometimes to take the decision?
How much do you know what is important so you can make the right decision?

You can easily remember times where you felt unsure about making a decision, or simply doing the right thing for you. In most cases, this happens because you are not aware of what really matters to you, what are the most important things for you?

You can have a better understanding of these important things in your life by asking yourself 4 questions:

1. If you had all the money / time / freedom in the world, what would you be doing? And why is that important?

2. If you had 3 months to live, what about the people? What would you do with your day? And why is that important?

3. If you could think of 3 happy people, who would they be? And why did you chose these people?

4. If you could think of 2 happy moments, what would they be? And what is so special about these moments?

Then what do you do?

You simply find the three common threads in these four questions and check their importance using one of many situations where it was difficult to make a decision. If you can easily and happily make the decision, they are the 3 most important things for you. If not, check the answers to the questions and discover if you have forgotten something even more important.

 As you begin to use the 3 important elements of your life, you will be pleasantly surprised how easy and simple it is to make the right decision. And over the next weeks and months, you will be happy to notice that you are making the right decisions and you are also living your life enjoying the most important things for you.

Enjoy!

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01/03/2010 by Marketing Team.

“We are continuously seeking perfection and happiness”

How often do we wish we can change certain aspects of our life?
How much do we want to become healthier and happier?
How is it that all these quick fix diet and exercise regimes never work?

We can easily recall a time where we have been motivated to change the way we live our life so we can feel happy and healthy, so we can see a difference in the way we look and so we can hear people telling us how much we are different. In most cases, we concentrate only on one element of our life without considering the whole.

We can obtain long term results by considering the whole and not only the food we eat, the exercise we do or don’t. The 3 elements, which should be worked on at the same time and in equal measure for the triangle of health:

FUEL - MIND - BODY

For example, it is the new year, and you have made the new year’s resolution that in 2010 you will look after yourself so you can simply enjoy life fully and so you can be enjoyed for who you are by the people around you. So you look at joining a gym or starting a new diet or meeting new people or starting a new hobby. They are all great ideas, but it doesn’t seem to last or do you loose the motivation quickly? Why us there suddenly obstacles preventing you from doing it? How does it make you feel when you realise that nothing has changed?

So, what can we do?

You simply need to consider the 3 easy to remember elements of the triangle of health:

1. Fuel

How balance is your current food intake? How much are you eating? Is it too much or too little? Are you loosing weight too quickly? How often, and when, do you eat? How do you know it is time to eat?

2. Mind

How much have you got on your mind? What is going on in your life at the moment? How much time have you put aside to answer some important questions? What is happening in your life and how much is it affecting you?

3. Body

What is your body trying to tell you? How much do you feel in touch with your body? Have you noticed how you are breathing? Is it deep, slwo and continuous? How tense are you (in your lower back or shoulders and neck)? What have you done about these recurring pains and aches?

As you begin to notice and understand the 3 important elements of your triangle of health, you will start to make certain decisions to improve your food, to answer and deall with important questions, and to work out at your own pace and level. Over the next weeks and months, you will become more tuned with yourself and in a better place to be a better self.

Enjoy!

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