How often have you tried to stop doing something you don’t want to do anymore?
Or have you tried to start doing something differently or new?
How many times did you start or change the way you did something and end up back where you started?

We all have great intentions and with the New Year coming we’ve already started to think about our resolutions. Generally, it’s all about doing something new or different. It’s interesting to understand why we want to do something or if we think we want to do something. There is an enormous difference between wanting something and thinking we want something. We can wonder how much we’ve been influenced by our surroundings, our family, our friends, our society… so when we choose our resolutions, we have to make sure they are ours.

For example, we think it’s time that we looked after ourselves so we want to spend more time exercising or we want to learn how to eat healthily. We decide to spend more quality time with our family, our friends, or just the people we care about. Or we simply want to enjoy life a little more… whatever the form it takes, it can be at the physical, mental, social, familial or even spiritual level.

So where do we start?

First we decide what we want and NOT what we DON’T want.  

I want to have a stronger back

Then we ask ourselves why is it so important.

Who is saying it is (us or someone else)? What will happen if we do and if we don’t? What will we lose by changing?

It is important because it affects the way I feel, the way I am with the ones I care about. If I don’t do anything, I can imagine that I will get worse and short tempered and if I do, I can imagine that I will be able to do much more when and with whom I want to. The only thing that will change is that I will need to be much more aware of the time to fit it in.

We make ourselves aware of the excuses we might give ourselves not to do what we want so we can diffuse them when they appear.

I often say that I am tired or that this is not the right time or even I will do it tomorrow and I end up doing nothing.
When and where we can spare the time for this new habit.

Choose a regular and specific time (the same day at the same time OR BETTER every day at the same time) to put it in place.  Treat it as you would any other appointment – put it in your diary and just do it!

I can put 15 minutes aside every morning (at least week days) as part of my morning routine, just after breakfast and just before my shower. This normally takes place at 7.45am.

Tell people what you’re doing, and why you’re doing it – let them help to motivate you!

I will tell my partner, my children and my close friends.

And finally, book the first day.

Tomorrow is as good as any other day.

As you begin thinking about these 6 steps, you are probably having a few ideas about what to start doing or to stop doing and how much they can bring so many good things in your everyday life. And after 21 days, you will have developed a new habit and you will be certainly surprised by the impact on the people around you. So you can wait until January to put in place your first resolution or you can just start today.

Enjoy!

Naomi just send us this message:

Check the next course on NLP Training course 2012 

See you very soon.

‘Dealing with emails’

Do you sometimes react negatively to an email?

Are you submerged by a large quantity of emails?

Do you find yourself searching for words or wondering how to compose a sentence when you write an email?

Emails have become a common way to keep in touch, to share information, to delegate work, to arrange meetings.. and much more. It’s easy to recall how many times we find ourselves having difficulties composing email because we want to be sure the message will be understood or have difficulties not reacting negatively to an email received.

For example, we want to explain a delicate situation to someone via an email and we end up hitting the ‘Delete’ key more often than the others, we keep changing words and can’t find the right one or on the other hand, we take personally what is written on an email, it affects our mood and we cannot concentrate anymore because we can’t stop thinking about the email.

So how can we deal with emails?

The 3 following rules will not only decrease the number of emails you receive, avoid confusion and misunderstanding but will also save you a lot of time.

1-    Taking too long – If we start taking too long to write an email (hitting the delete key or not finding the right word/sentence), it is time to pick up the phone.

2-    Responding to emails – There are 3 types of emails:

-       The ‘no response’ email: These emails are normally to share information and don’t need a response.

-       The ‘not sure’ email: These are not clear and they don’t specify if you need to respond. They are used to delegate work and you normally don’t have all the information you need to do the work. You need further details, so to avoid forward and backwards email you must pick up the phone and get all the details you need.

-       The ‘reply’ email: These are easy to spot. There is one or many questions without answers. Answer by email if you don’t fall into the rule 1.

3-    Important and/or urgent – if you have to share a very important or urgent message and you want to make sure that you are understood and that actions are going to be put in place, pick up the phone. You can ONLY use an email to recap and record your conversation.

As you begin to apply and respect these 3 rules, you will start realising that you receive less emails and that you are not spending so much time explaining, re-explaining what you want and you have better contact with the people around you. And over the next weeks and months, you will notice how you are managing your emails differently and how much more efficient you are with your work and with the people around you.

Enjoy!

They don’t have to be big things, just 10 positive things that have happened since you woke up this morning.

It’s easy to get to the end of the day and think it’s been a bad one - that nothing’s gone right for you, and that everything is going against you.

But, if you spend just a couple of minutes thinking about it, you can easily think of at least 10 positive things that have happened - like the sunshine through the window, an unexpected smile, a warm welcome, seeing the first autumn colours, a nice word from a friend or just a cuddle with a loved one - there’s always something to add to the list.

So when you’re on your way home from work this evening, or laying in bed tonight, take a couple of minutes to think back over your day and make a list of 10 positive things.

Suddenly, your day has been successful and a nice experience.

If we start listening to what we and people around you say, you will easily notice some of the following examples:

‘I know what she wants…’
‘I understand where he is coming from…’
‘They must know what I need…’
‘He won’t be happy with this…’
‘She won’t like it…’

For example, we notice that a good friend is not himself, he is not as cheerful as normal so we start wondering why this could be. We soon remember that he had an important meeting the day before and assume that something must have gone wrong. We feel sorry for him and start showing him some sympathy and say: ‘Don’t worry, things will get better..’. Surprised, he replies: ’What are you talking about?’.

We can believe we know what someone is thinking or feeling based on what we know about people and their life. And if we think we actually know them because they have been part of our life for a while, we can assume we have the knowledge necessary to know what they will think, feel, like or dislike. Sometimes we are right and sometimes we are so wrong.

So what can we do?

It is simple, just ask ourselves:

•    How do you I know this?

If we realise that we are not sure and we just believe it because this is how we would react in such a situation or because we have experienced a few similar situations. Then we can stop asking ourselves and start asking them.

As you begin to think about this, you will start noticing more and more times where you assume that you know what people are thinking and feeling or that they know what you are thinking and feeling. And over the next weeks and months, you will begin to ask yourself how I know this and you will also begin to check with the people concerned what it is really happening so you can behave in the most appropriate way to a situation.

Enjoy!